Detachment

We have all had that terrible feeling in the pit of our stomach, when we are gone or leaving for a vacation and we feel like there is just SOMETHING we have forgotten or something that is missing. That has got to be one of the worse feelings ever. The only problem is lately, I have been feeling that just about daily. I wish it was because I was going on daily vacations, but it’s almost like I feel like there is just something in my life that has gone missing or I have left behind somewhere. This may sound confusing to some, but most of the time I find that there are more of you out there that read my blogs, that do actually have the same feeling that I do and I think that is why I post such things. I don’t mind sharing my inner most thoughts, it really doesn’t bother me and blogging is the best way to do it because you can read it if you want and if you don’t want to, don’t. That way I don’t feel like I’m forcing things on anyone, or putting anything on anyone else. I’m just letting it out and that is the whole point.

Regardless, here goes. I have had this feeling for quite some time now. I am not sure when it started, or when it will end, but I think I have to figure it out before it gets any worse. I have issues, like anyone else, but lately I feel like my issues have been taken over by my feeling of responsibility for other’s issues. The problem is that I am letting this happen. I make everyone else’s problems mine when I have no business in them. I try and try and then I get pushed back and this has pretty much happened, my ENTIRE life. The crazy part about all this is I never realize it until it’s too late. I am now going to make reference (again) to the book I have been reading for over a year now, because I think I am finally getting it.

Chapter 8: Set Yourself Free; “Let go and Let God”

Chapter 10: Live your own life “The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs”. (Codependent No More; How to stop controlling others and Start caring for yourself. By: Melody Beattie).


That is just a small amount of what I think I am finally understanding about this book and the sad part is, now I want to start reading it from the beginning again. I read those chapters and at the end of the chapters they have activities to do to help you. At the time of reading the chapters, I guess maybe I wasn’t ready to do them. The word “Detach” was used a lot and it scared me. But I think I have hit that “wall” everyone talks about. At 31 I want/need to detach from people that are sucking the life out of me. I don’t want or need this stress and anxiety anymore. This doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore, this just means that I am finally seeing that being the “caregiver” to people who don’t care back is not doing anything for me but bringing me down and hurting me in the end. I hate that it took this long into my adult life to realize it, but I guess it’s better late than never.

I guess what I’m saying at this point is, it feels good to find what has been missing and it really shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize what it was. I have been missing from my life for quite some time now and I think it is high time to take myself back and bring me back to life. I deserve good and I deserve happy. I’m done with YOUR problems, it’s time to focus on my own..
Peace, love and DETACHMENT!