I was working on another blog a few nights ago and I stopped because I hit a brick wall. So this morning, I went back for some inspiration and read my blog for December 28, 2011. WOW is all I can say, I jump around ALOT! either way here goes.
So, fixing me and loving me? Let's start with that one. I think this year, I have actually fixed SOME aspects of myself and then I believe I may have tucked the other aspects in a tight little drawer that keeps all my other little secrets tightly sealed. I have alot of asspects people (see what I did there?) sorry. Either way I do feel at this point in time that even though money is a bit tighter and I miss my roomie (cuz I know she will read this as always) I made the right decision! I am happier and that is all that matters to me and my family right now. I am not living any healther, but I will continue to work really hard on that (wink wink). Loving me? Yes I have actually attempted that this year. I have been wearing tighter clothing at some people's suggestion and I do look at myself naked in the mirror DAILY and stare for a few minutes at a time. I think that is the only way, to force myself to be happy with me and I think it is working.
Now we move on to perhaps my year in review. A brief synopsis if you will. CANCER! Yup that about sums it up because cancer has been the reason for both of the almost deaths in my family this past year. My mother suffered terribly through kidney failure, dialysis, heart failure and death's door and as she alwasys does CAME BACK KICKIN ASS! My father in law has not had the same luck with his after effects of chemotherapy. He recently went into kidney failure and continues on dialysis, had a heart attack and is actually in the hospital as we speak awaiting triple bypass surgery on January 2nd (prayers appreciated) and with his silly laugh still rolling. Mimi got through her radiation and is doing well and I thank God every day for all of the above. I couldn't deal with losing my mother, I am not sure how helpful I would be to my husband if he lost his father and words could not express what I would go through if I couldn't speak to my Mimi each week.
NEW yes new! My new home and surroundings. I am in love my the neighborhood that we have moved into and the fact that i'm not worried about my son getting hit by a car that feels the need to fly down the road. I love that I have such friendly neighbors and Mason has so many new friends! There is really nothing bad that I can say about the NEW that hit us this year. We have been blessed and continue to count our lucky stars for where we are right now! I also got so lucky to spend a couple of days with my niece and nephew for thanksgiving and just watching all the kids play together like they have been right nextdoor the whole time was a gift nobody could ever give up. Even though some people have thrown that away on their own.
I guess now is when I am supposed to move on to the year that is coming at me head on right? Well, if you follow me you know that I DO NOT make resolutions because that sets me up for failure and I just can't handle that so I think perhaps we will go with this...
I am going to continue to be me and do what I do best. Love, LOVE LOVE! I hope this year brings peace to my family and better health to all. I don't want anything for myself anymore, I enjoy watching others be happy. I am not sure if that makes me more mature or not. I hope that I get to see my family more this year than I did last year. I miss them more and more each day. I hope those that have had bad luck this past year, get their heads out of their asses and learn to move forward. And those with hate in their hearts can overcome that and realize we are only here for THIS life and THIS life only....With that.. PEACE LOVE AND CELEBRATE A NEW YEAR!!!