RAMBLE RAMBLE

Just one of those days where I want to say what is on my mind. There is really so much in my head that it is hard to put it words. All last week, I attempted to start writing. I started something about my dad for Father's day, then I started one for my husband for Father's day. Never finished them. I feel like I am getting back into my old habits again, of not writing down what I am feeling. I was doing really well with it in the beginning.

I feel numb today. Numb in my mind with pain elsewhere. I want to cry but laugh instead. I want to talk about it but tend to scream. The fear of the unknown, I believe is getting to me. Not knowing is the hardest part. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring is just a part of life and I understand that, but I can't shut off my mind from thinking about it.

There is one thing I HAVE actually been doing and that is reading. I have been reading my book every chance I get and it is really making things seem so clear to me these days. It makes me sit back and realize who I am, this late in the game. Is it late, or is it just in time? Why not start fresh in a new decade? Why not? I will. That is my plan. If I can just get my mind through this week and be put at ease. If...

So, my husband called me on my attitude this weekend. I have been kind of well, bitchy for lack of a better term since I have been having these whatever problems, I hve been having. I always know when he is over it, because he gets this look on his face and he waits until he just can't take anymore. I don't blame him! I can't believe he waited this long without saying anything. I immediately apologized for my behavior, and he immediately said he understood. I try.. I really do.. Maybe I need to try harder. Maybe. I love him so....I will just apologize again next time..

THAT'S ALL.. THANKS FOR READING.

PEACE LOVE AND I HATE MY HAIR!