Is worry really a Sin?

So The Scream by Edvard Munch has always been my favorite painting. I am not sure that it is because I always feel stressed or not, but I have always loved it. When I was in high school I had this little blow up scream guy that I would keep in my room and I really would use it to hit things when I was upset or felt the need to scream but didn't want to get yelled at for being so loud inside the house. I am really not sure what happened to that thing, but I really miss it. With that, here goes my next rant:


Is worry really a sin? If so man am I in trouble. My nerves are kicking my ass right now. I know there are a few things that are probably making my nerves react this way and I am not blaming anyone, because this is my own fault really. I have always been the person that gets involved in everyone’s problems, especially family. I love my family sometimes so much I just cannot control myself and have to insist on trying to help them. CODEPENDENT MUCH? Yea, needless to say my book has taken and backseat and I have to admit, I know I am this way, but no book is going to be able to stop me. I want to save the world and everyone in it, but when it comes to my family I jump in without even looking.

Thank GOD for the wonderful husband that I have, because he knows me all too well and wants to help me along the way. It really is no good to have two codependents in a household, especially when one of them (me) is thick headed. He loves me and in turn he loves my family just as much as I do, and I feel the same way about his family. I think that is the way it is supposed to be. After all we vowed to spend forever together and it would really suck to hate each others families.

There comes a time in life (well mine at least) where you start questioning everything that exists. As soon as one thing goes wrong in my life, I immediately try and figure out why it has gone wrong and then I proceed to try and fix it. As soon as one thing gets fixed, something else breaks and so on and so on. You get the picture right?

I care, for just about everyone and everything. Sometimes I wish I was heartless, but that just wouldn’t be me. I was that kid that tried to save the baby bird and nurse it back to life after it fell out of the tree. I am now the adult that skims Craigslist to see if I can help anyone find their lost pet. If you need something and I don’t need it, I would give it to you. If you needed an organ and I had a healthy enough one to spare, I would totally give it to you. I am seriously that kind of person.

For once I would love to wake up one morning and (excuse the language) not give a shit about anything. I have tried and I will be damned if that just adds more to worry about. My parents have always labeled me as the “worry wart” of the family, but it really has not come clear to me until the past few years of my life. I guess I’m trying to make it look okay that I am the way I am. I have been this way my whole life and I am thinking it is probably too late to change now, even if I wanted to.

Well, thanks for reading, that is all for now.

Peace Love and Love..