Puppy Love

So, I have been in a ranting mood since weekend, but sadly I have had no time to write. So I think I will start with what is bothering me today. After all, isn't that what a blog is for?

I believe it was 2000 or so, I walked into the groomers to drop off my mother's dog "rusty" to get groomed and there in a small cage sat the cutest, most beautiful black miniature schnauzer you will ever see. The cage had a sign on it that said "My name is Zack I am 3 months old, and I need a loving home". That was it, I passed "Rusty's" leash to the lady and immediately went over to that cage.. I fell in love. I had been depressed lately after a break up with yet another sad-excuse and I had sworn no more dating for a while. I went home and immediately told mom about him. I was surprised, that she didn't think I was serious about getting him. After all, dad was not into anymore dogs in the house.

So, to my mother's surprise, Zack came home (to my parent's house mind you) that day and we have been together ever since. He has always been the constant in my life; before my husband, way before Mason. He was mine and he loved me no matter what. Don't get me wrong he was a spiteful little guy and well still is really. He has always been very healthy and has always slept beside me at night. Don't worry I am getting somewhere with this.

This past weekend, Zack bit Mason. Now before you start jumping to conclusions, there was no blood drawn and it was provoked. However, a bite is a bite and my husband and I vowed that once Mason came along, he takes first place. I know the circumstance was that Mason was tugging on his collar to get him to do something that he did not want to do, but still biting is unacceptable. I know what my husband's thoughts are (I don't even want to say it), but I cannot even bring myself to think about it. This has not been the first bite. He has bitten and growled at us all a few times, when he does not want to be bothered. He is getting old what do we expect? My head is filled with "what to do's" and sadly brings back some bitter memories..

2004: Daddy had been gone for almost a year now. Jaime was on the road with work, which was very common at the time. It was late, there were tears, The Cranberries were playing on the radio ("When Your gone", if I remember correctly). I laid on the bed with a hand full of pain pills. I was in a place at the time that I cannot describe. My daddy was gone, my mommy was so sick and I feared she would be gone soon too. I had nobody there for me at the time, just me and my pills. I went to the kitchen and got a glass of wine. I had never felt so sure about what I was about to do in my whole life until that night. I went back in to the bedroom and sat on the bed, closed my eyes and began to drink. I raised the pills to my mouth. Out of nowhere, Zack jumped up on the bed, took his snout and popped my hand so the pills fell to the floor. Surprised, I put my wine glass down and attempted to pick them up for fear he may eat them. He nuzzled under my hand and looked right into my eyes as if to say "what are you doing? Stop it!" The tears began to roll down my face quicker, but in a different way. I was relieved. I thought I had nobody that night, but I had Zack. He was my somebody. I put the pills in the toilet and poured the wine down the drain.

Depressing? Yes maybe, but that night was a secret between me and Zack for years. Zack was meant to be mine. I needed him and he has ALWAYS been there for me. I know it must sound crazy hearing someone talk about a dog like this, but after that night when I am feeling down, I can look into those loving black eyes of his and remember what he had done for me that late night. He couldn't tell anyone on me. He couldn't yell at me. All he had to do was look at me and he saved me.

For that reason, Zack will never leave my house. Sadly, he is getting older now. He is no longer a puppy and doesn't want to play as much as he used to. Biting or not, he is mine and I am his. He will stay by my side until his last day.

That's all for now!

Peace N Love